“In third grade I wanted to be a male stripper. That’s what I said when they asked me in class.”
Ultimatum
“He basically has a choice: join the Army or start using heroin.”
Taste is 70% Smell
“Yum! It smells like cheese steak, mmmmm I want one! Oh wait, did somebody fart?”
Face Booked
“My face was a lot uglier last time.”
Convictions
“I made up my mind and I’m standing my ground. I just wish my legs were skinnier.”
Plain Jane
“I eat my hot dogs without ketchup, mustard or anything. I ate them plain all throughout college and gained like twenty pounds. I like the meat taste. “
First Thing’s First
“I don’t know the last thing about planning a party.”
Wordplay
“He was such a… Well I don’t know the word for it. But that’s what he was.”
Working Girl
“I’m not a young professional, I’m just young and working.”
Home Sweet… Home?
“I get nervous when I come home sometimes, because I don’t remember what I do when I get home.”
